If your mind has a habit of running through a conversation forty times after it ended, or rehearsing tomorrow before tomorrow has even arrived, you are not alone. Overthinking is one of the most common difficulties I hear about in a first session. It often arrives without anyone calling it that. People describe it as their brain not switching off, or going around in circles, or the looping that starts the moment their head hits the pillow.
I am Dr Raminta Petrauskaite, an HCPC-registered Clinical Psychologist working with adults across Bournemouth, Christchurch, Poole, and the wider Dorset area. This article looks at why overthinking happens, what it tends to be protecting you from, and what actually helps it ease.
What overthinking actually is
Overthinking is the mind’s attempt to solve something it cannot solve through thinking alone. It tends to take two main forms. Rumination, which loops backwards over past events, and worry, which loops forward into possible future ones. Both involve the same underlying pattern. The brain is trying to make something feel manageable by running through it again, just in case it missed something the first time.
Everyone does this occasionally. Overthinking becomes a difficulty when it starts to interfere with sleep, decisions, or your sense of being present in your own life. Research has consistently linked persistent rumination to higher levels of anxiety and depression (Nolen-Hoeksema, 2000).
Why we overthink
There is rarely just one reason. In my experience, several factors usually overlap, and naming them can help loosen their grip.
Perfectionism and high internal standards
People who hold themselves to high standards often overthink as a way of checking they have done enough. The thought process tends to run something like, “I will just go over it once more to make sure.” The problem is that there is rarely a clear point at which you can know you have done enough, so the checking continues. Perfectionism has been closely linked to rumination in psychological research (Flett et al., 2002).
Anxiety and the what-if loop
When the nervous system is on high alert, the mind tries to anticipate every possible outcome as a way of staying safe. This is where “what if” thinking comes in. What if I get it wrong, what if they were upset, what if something goes wrong tomorrow. The intent is protective. The result tends to be exhausting (Borkovec et al., 2004).
Difficulty tolerating uncertainty
For some people, not knowing how something will turn out feels genuinely unbearable. The overthinking is an attempt to reach certainty through analysis. Intolerance of uncertainty is a known feature of both generalised anxiety and obsessive compulsive difficulties (Dugas et al., 1998), and addressing it directly is often more useful than addressing the thoughts themselves.
Past experiences that have not fully settled
For people who have lived through difficult or traumatic experiences, the mind can stay on quiet alert long after the event has passed. Overthinking then functions as a kind of internal scanning, trying to spot anything that might be a sign of trouble. This is rarely conscious. It is the system doing what it learned to do when it needed to (Ehlers and Clark, 2000).
Self-doubt and a habit of self-criticism
When confidence is low, decisions tend to be revisited more often. Did I say the right thing? Should I have handled that differently? The overthinking is shaped by an inner voice that finds it difficult to trust your own judgement. Rumination tends to be more frequent in people with low self-esteem (Nolen-Hoeksema, 1991).
What overthinking costs you
In the short term, overthinking can feel productive. You are doing something. You are working on the problem. The issue is that the brain treats sustained mental rehearsal as if it were a real ongoing threat. Cortisol rises, sleep is disrupted, and the very state you were trying to think your way out of tends to deepen (Thomsen, 2006).
Decision making also tends to suffer. Past a certain point, more thinking does not produce better choices, and people often describe a kind of paralysis where every option looks slightly wrong (Ward and Brenner, 2003). This is often where the people I see arrive in therapy. Tired, indecisive, and aware that the loop is no longer helping.
If overthinking has been wearing you down, a free 20-minute consultation gives you a low-pressure space to talk through what has been going on, and whether therapy might help.
Buttons: [ Book a Free Consultation ] [ Ask a Question ] [ View Fees ]
What actually helps overthinking ease
Overthinking rarely shifts through willpower. Telling yourself to stop thinking about it tends to make the thinking louder. What helps is a different relationship with the thoughts and a different relationship with the discomfort underneath them. Here are some of the approaches I use most often with the people I see.
Working with the thoughts, not against them
CBT helps you notice the patterns that drive the loop, and gently test the assumptions underneath them. Instead of trying to stop a thought, you learn to ask whether it is accurate and useful. Over time, this changes how much weight you give to passing worries.
Practising mindfulness
Mindfulness is often misunderstood as a way of clearing the mind. What it actually does is help you notice when you are caught in a thought, without being pulled along by it. Research on mindfulness-based approaches has shown reductions in rumination and emotional reactivity over time (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).
A scheduled worry time
This sounds counterintuitive, although the research on it is strong (Borkovec et al., 1983). You agree with yourself that worries get fifteen or twenty minutes at a set time each day, and that anything that comes up outside that window gets parked until then. People are often surprised by how much it eases the daytime tide.
Building self-compassion
A lot of overthinking is driven by the fear of getting something wrong. When the inner voice is harsh, the brain works harder to avoid mistakes, which produces more checking. Self-compassion work helps soften the voice that drives the loop in the first place (Neff, 2003).
Moving from thinking to action
Some overthinking is fuelled by a decision that has been postponed for too long. The mind keeps running the calculation because the action has not yet been taken. Sometimes the most therapeutic thing you can do is take one small concrete step, even an imperfect one, and let the loop quieten naturally.
When to seek professional support
If overthinking has begun to affect your sleep, your work, your relationships, or your sense of who you are, it is worth speaking to someone. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and mindfulness based approaches all have good evidence for helping reduce rumination and worry. The work is often quieter and more practical than people expect.
Frequently asked questions
Is overthinking a mental health condition?
Overthinking is not a diagnosis in itself, although it is a common feature of anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive difficulties. If it has become persistent, that is reason enough to look at it.
Can therapy actually stop overthinking?
Most people do not need overthinking to disappear entirely. The goal is usually a different relationship with it, where it has less influence over your day. That is a realistic and reachable outcome.
How long does it take for therapy to help with overthinking?
Many of the people I see notice small shifts within the first four to six sessions, with deeper change settling over the middle of the work. Realistic timelines depend on what is underneath the overthinking.
Do you offer online sessions for people outside New Milton?
Yes. Online sessions are available across the UK and work well for overthinking-related difficulties.
Final thoughts
Overthinking is rarely a sign that something is wrong with you. It is more often a sign that your mind is trying to protect you in a way that has stopped working. With the right support, it does ease. Not all at once, but enough that you can hear yourself think again.
Reach out for support
If you would like to talk through whether therapy might help with overthinking, including readers based in Bournemouth and the wider Dorset area, I offer a free twenty minute consultation by phone or video call. You can get in touch through the contact page, book online, or arrange a free 20-minute consultation first. There is no obligation to book afterwards.
Related reading
- What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)? — How ACT changes your relationship with overthinking rather than fighting the thoughts.
- Why Can’t I Say No? — Why people-pleasing and overthinking often travel together.
- What Are Flashbacks? — When overthinking is rooted in unprocessed trauma, and what helps.
References
Borkovec, T. D., Hazlett-Stevens, H., and Diaz, M. L. (2004). The role of worry in generalized anxiety disorder. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 11(3), 255-266.
Borkovec, T. D., Wilkinson, L., Folensbee, R., and Lerman, C. (1983). Stimulus control applications to the treatment of worry. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 21(3), 247-251.
Dugas, M. J., Gosselin, P., and Ladouceur, R. (1998). Intolerance of uncertainty and worry. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 22(2), 233-244.
Ehlers, A., and Clark, D. M. (2000). A cognitive model of posttraumatic stress disorder. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 38(4), 319-345.
Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., and Nepon, T. (2002). Perfectionism, worry, and self-focused attention. In G. L. Flett and P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 235-252). APA.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144-156.
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety/depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504-511.
Thomsen, D. K. (2006). The association between rumination and negative affect. Cognition and Emotion, 20(8), 1216-1235.
Ward, A., and Brenner, L. (2003). Decision making and overthinking. Psychological Science, 14(5), 377-383.
